Al Capone, Bob Marley and My Back Garden.

A recent fieldwork trip took me to the Venus convention in Berlin. 'What's this?' you may ask. Especially if adult entertainment is nothing more than a jovial evening pastime for you. The Venus convention is one of, if not the, largest porn convention in the world and sees the latest adult entertainment stars, producers, content creators, manufacturers and consumers gather together to immerse in all things porn. My thesis is looking into porn actors, so it was essential I went to figure out what I might find and introduce myself, and my study, to some industry folk. Whilst I would love to sit here and write about the convention and the fascinating events that took place, I will save it for the study and, for now, discuss a different, albeit strangely related, topic. 

Firstly, it's important to mention, witnessing porn actors along with the community that exists around adult entertainment was enlightening. Venus was an environment designed to enable complete, unfettered freedom (within ethical boundaries, of course). I couldn't stop thinking about the privilege of this sense of freedom. Porn is an industry laced with stigma, and sex workers experience the unfair ramifications of that regularly whilst putting themselves vulnerably on the line for statistically, often enormously appreciated content. Perhaps there was something the convention could do to mitigate this stigma. In a way, it already was by just unapologetically being. The freedom on display at Venus is nothing short of impressive. To be held in Berlin, where freedom and the abolition of repression and oppression permeate its history, was even more of a statement. Freedom and freedom of speech were prominent themes. They got me thinking about this aspect of human experience currently under such threat - highlighting what we must do to protect it.

As an existential therapist, my colleagues and I are preoccupied with the notion of freedom and it’s sickening availability in all of us. Whilst free choice can certainly be queried under the influence of menticide regimes, propaganda, collective groupthink, coercive family members or just very good advertising, there is still freedom rooted at our very core with a warm, quantum glow of primordial energy. It's what we decide to do with it and when that counts. "How is that possible?" you may ask. "Systems of oppression and repression have been restricting groups for centuries!". In theory, yes, but we have broken free time and again. Time and again, people stand up and take a stance against repression and oppression and the violence that often ensues, with great, consequential, personal sacrifice. Something we have witnessed just this week with the fall of Assad in Syria. How can we cultivate this sense of freedom and protect it without facing significant loss? Loss of our relationships due to our differing views, or worse, loss of safety or even life to fight for what we stand for.

As a kid, I was lucky to be able to play in rolling Hampshire fields, tumble down piles of grain, build things with my grandad, make pocket money serving my mum in my back garden restaurant (presenting a rich menu of fish fingers, cold tea, and stale Brazil nuts from last Christmas) only to then run around for hours with my dogs, covered in God-knows-what, refusing to bathe until it was frightfully necessary. This was all before falling asleep in a fort of teddy bears wearing my sunglasses covered in snot, to then awake, draw some monsters, perform plastic surgery on Barbies, reenact the Lion King and prove I could eat a carrot as fast as Bugs Bunny. The list goes on. As an adolescent, I gradually started expressing myself with less and less clothing, more and more make-up, insane hairstyles, and an immense curiosity in boys, snogging and shoes. These somewhat normal teenage freedoms allowed me to investigate who I was and embody the flexibility and personal power all of them could provide within the protected, disciplined metaphorical fort my parents provided.

Kids (in many cultures and circumstances) are glowing with innocence, dependent on this primary responsibility of fully formed adults, rarely needing to consider any form of terror management strategy. Don't get me wrong, many do, but we must be able to distinguish. Children can set examples to adults on how to adapt to circumstances of certain abstract imprisonment (work, responsibility and paradoxically raising children). In the wake of children's boredom, beautiful, weird, creative progress is made – the absolute pure example of choice within the facticity and thrownness of their parents' schedule and the back garden.

Despite my joyous youth, I wasn't numb to the plight of human suffering. In fact, quite the contrary. Stories of courage moved me and took up my focus. I learnt Martin Luther King's speech entirely by heart and focussed my school projects on unjust suffering, such as the holocaust and modern-day slavery. I had the privilege to meet a woman called Mende Nazer at a wedding. We thought she was a guest, only to find out she was in hiding at the house after recently escaping years of slavery. My friend and I followed Mende's story thereon after. Captivated by her courage and resilience. Dedicated to her campaign. At the same party we also met Al Capone’s granddaughter. You would think being related to one of history’s most notorious gangsters must come with its own sense of infamous, imprisoning reputation yet this woman held and shaped herself with elegance, warmth and reverie. Completely immune to the whispers of infamous lineage. Holding an uncompromised sense of personal ownership.

Freedom has become a fundamental principle in my worldview. During challenging moments in my previous career, I often sought inspiration in the stories of individuals who exemplified courage and resilience in their pursuit of freedom. Figures such as Mende Nazer, Martin Luther King Jr., Ayaan Hirsi Ali, Edith Eger, Viktor Frankl, Yeonmi Park, Mohamedou Ould Slahi, Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, and Nelson Mandela - among others -provided powerful examples that motivated me to persevere, embrace opportunities, and advocate for freedom.

These narratives also highlight the complexities of freedom, particularly in contexts where it intersects with ideologies like communism. While some of these individuals escaped its grip, not all were directly connected to it. Personally, I find communism's ideals, though well-intentioned, to be unworkable in practice, as history has repeatedly demonstrated. Having worked with diverse groups of people, I am convinced that human behaviour does not align neatly with such utopian frameworks, regardless of our aspirations. I believe in a free market (I didn't always); I think Walter Williams had some very valid ideas, and I am one of those insufferable people who loves work and think we should do a bit more of it (but maybe that's just me). However, I believe in balance and support, where support is needed, all alongside personal agency, discipline and courage, where it can be cultivated.

Ultimately, our sense of freedom runs parallel to the limitations, givens, and facts of our circumstances—it is not in place of them. Although considered its definition, our freedom is not lost when someone locks us up and throws away the key. Hear me out. Freedom is a state of mind that we strengthen to survive and challenge the harsh landscape of life—Bob Marley conveyed this beautifully in "Redemption Song."  

Considering our currently divided political climate, we risk imprisoning those we disagree with and ourselves in a quest to be 'right', blindly standing against/with the other, or asserting a sense of righteous indignation unaware of who we might harm. Certainly, there are occasions where a just sense of righteous indignation can be valid - Martin Luther King tapped into it to construct his groundbreaking speech and we need it when we are to defend ourselves against unjust attack. Yet there is no doubt Martin Luther and many other activists are flawed, much like every notable figure we know. In fact, like every human – no matter their political, religious or personal beliefs. We may face opposition in our quest to be free, but should we not invite, through modelling a mature and fair discussion, our opponent to pursue the same? Intellectual sparring is important on university campuses to foster critical thought, so should we not deliberately invite it to every corner of public debate? Otherwise, what really is right or wrong or true? We are just left with aggression, othering and division and thus a paradox ensues.

In his 1964 speech at the Rivonia Trial, Nelson Mandela declared he was prepared to die for his ideal. Similar figures such as Mahatma Gandhi paid this price. Interestingly enough, what both sides of political-social warfare tend to demand, is a place for their chosen way of being to be heard and accepted. There is only one real way this can happen without being plunged into the grips of aggression and violence – freedom of speech. To agree to disagree. To be ok with accepting or not, the others’ views – no matter how deep they plunge. Diplomatically pressing on with the short lives we all have. Speech allows ideas to be considered and explored but limited, mitigated or changed through the gradual pressures of discourse if they do harm. I'm reminded of the philosophy that underpinned much of the chilling atrocities under the Khmer Rouge - "it is always better to go too far than not far enough". At least if we talk about it first, we can hopefully prevent this seemingly innocent philosophy from falling into the wrong hands much like it did in Cambodia.

A particular demonstration about human freedom that moves me is the story of the Baltic Way (I know, I know I've mentioned it before), where some two million people joined hands spanning across 690km of three Baltic States to peacefully protest Soviet rule. The motivation to logistically make that happen is a huge testament to the way people were feeling as they came together to face the odds. Similar, albeit even more dangerous, occurrences continue to take place worldwide on an individual and mass scale. Mende experienced this as she delicately and gradually choreographed a swift, terrifying escape from her modern-day London enslavement. All demonstrating the power of individual autonomy as a universal experience for most humans and a fundamental human right. We are in a crisis of gradually stripping this right just because we don't like what is said. I invite you to seriously think about where that might lead.

With all of the above in mind, it feels more concrete to recognise how porn holds a significant place in the experience of human freedom. Think of it what you will, and handle it how you do, but be careful not to restrict it. In 2019 PornHub alone (there are thousands of similar sites) reported a viewing rate of 42,000,000,000 over the course of that year. Sit with those numbers. Porn is viewed around the world in both legal and illegal jurisdictions very frequently. The law does not stop its consumption. Owing a testament to its power and influence. Driving it underground would take those overwhelming numbers along with the power, impact, and abuse that could evolve with them and dissolve any potential improvement from regulation. We owe it to the world to better understand it - regardless of our beliefs and personal preferences.

Freedom is a funny concept and one I try, when I can, to stand up for. Growing up with the freedom to build on my creativity within safety, guidance and discipline is one of the greatest privileges I have known, of which I reap the rewards daily. Boundaries, thrownness and facticity taught me how to accept the limitations of my existence, deal with boredom, and abstractly deal with challenges that come my way. I can live with ambiguity, albeit sometimes too much and highly urge you to practice the same.

This post was originally published in November 2024.